Mwhahaha!
by Usagi's Oven
Summary: Hello peeps! I'm glad you like my insane little fanfic, I deleted it and uploaded again so y'all can see it again!! :P PLEASE R/R and NO flames!! Or I will get my fire-shooting and singe your latest story with a real FLAME!!! Okay so READ *now* my little
1. Default Chapter

A/N I'm sorry, ever so sorry that I stole VCAndrew's lovely name Cutler … but I thought it fit so-o-o-o well that I couldn't r

A/N I'm sorry, ever so sorry that I stole VCAndrew's lovely name Cutler … but I thought it fit so-o-o-o well that I couldn't resist, another thing, this story is horribly demented, but y'all love that don't you?

Disclaimer: No one belongs to me only Mary Sue Cutler ['drum roll please' some sleazy talk show host says] the evil gorgeous preppy genius witch cheerleader from hell!!!

Chapter One 

**Evil Torturous Things! Yippee!**

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Draco simply couldn't help himself, when he saw the title he had to read it … 

_Hello my screen name is Pink Sparkly Cheeleading Princess, and I want to write a HP fic, that is truly original, containing a gorgous new girl, anyone whos interested please come!! _J J J J __

"What is with these names?" Draco muttered, eying the "accept" and "deny" buttons that fan fictions gave characters in books. Draco sighed, okay he wearily moved his mouse to accept, hey it might be fun … but oh was he wrong!

His bum hit the ground hard, he looked around everything was fluffy and pink and there were lots of books and stories scattered about words flashed on a broken looking television set occasionally, just then about seven more bodies thumped to the ground … ergh Harry Potter, Ginny Weasly, Hermione Granger, Snape, Dumbledore, and Ron Weasly

A short brunette came in smiling evilly at the eight characters, there was a girl standing beside her who pretty much fit the description it Pink Sparkly Cheerleading Princess's story.

"Hello all, this is Mary Sue, Harry, Draco, Ron y'all are in love with her, okay?" the brunette girl said (all three of them groaned.) The girl snapped her fingers and about three costume racks rolled in, "Draco, since I hate you so much, you will wear this!" the girl said waving a t-shirt that said "Harry Potter is my hero!!!!!!!!!!!" and muggle jeans in Draco's face.

The rest of then sniggered, as Draco's face turned many colors, first green then purple, then white "No, please anything!" Draco begged.

"Well there is another choice, but it isn't pleasant …" the girl said, suddenly the television flashed on and on it Dudly, Crabbe, and Goyle were modeling pink string bikinis in a miss America contest.

"…you can join them!" she said with another evil smile, then she went up to Ginny, you will wear this she said showing her black leather pants and a remarkably ugly sequined halter top. Then before Ginny could protest, everyone disappeared and they were suddenly (Draco and Ginny) on a stage with microphones sitting before them. 

Without warning Ginny began to dance like one of those disgusting American pop-stars and sang "If you only loved me, the way I can love you …" surprisingly Draco was dancing too.

Words began to flow out of his mouth "If I only you knew I could love you too,"

"Then we can be together, forever!" they both corused.

"I do really love you the way you are," Ginny continued.

"If only … only you knew," Draco crooned, he was beginning to feel nauseous, but couldn't do anything about it since he was unable to control the words flowing from his mouth or the way he danced. They continued the song, and and audience roared and clapped.

Suddenly the brunette girl's face appeared looking like the wizard from the wizard of oz 

"Had enough?????" she yelled. 

Draco and Ginny nodded (please, please let it be over thy both thought)

"I think not! Mwhahahahahaha!!!" the girl screamed wickedly, leaving them wondering when it would end …

A/N More later!!!! Keep watching this horribly demented story!!!!!!!!

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	2. Why Crossovers Are So-o-o-o EVIL!

A/N I knew you'd love it

A/N I knew you'd love it!!!! HEHE!!!! Any who this is the next chapter when fluffy pink cheerleader decides to crossover HP and the wizard of oz!!!

Why Crossovers are So-o-o-o Evil

After that rather hellish brand of torture Draco and Ginny were transported back to the evil authors pink and fluffy mind, where a angry looking tooth-fairy type held a girl screaming "I said I wanna go HOME dammit!!!!" over and over again, this girl was dressed rather foolishly in a blue muggle dress and carrying a basket, "I live in Kansas K-A-N-S-A-S! Not this Buffy's mind!!! She's done too many stories with me already!!!!" the girl was now screaming madly, and trying to break from the tooth-fairy woman's grip.

"She's an American story character," Harry told the rest of them knowingly, Draco grunted, and looked back at the girl.

"How would you know, Potter?" Draco sneered.

"Duh, he was raised by muggles," Hermione said. Ginny still looked disgusted and was still dressed in the foolish muggle clothes, unlike Draco who had immediately after returning had ripped the "Harry is my hero!!!!" T-Shirt off ASAP.

In a sudden action a purple puff of smoke revealed the short brunette again "Ah … Dorothy, we meet again!" she told the foolish looking "I Wanna Go Home" girl, "Everyone, this is Dorothy, I thought I'd do something fun until my writers block has cleared up, so Dorothy, you are now a student at Hogwarts and you and hmmm… you and Ron shall fall in love, but first, get something on more fitting everyone" a pile of black robes appeared on the ground, they put them on, and hiss they were all in the dining hall of Hogwarts.

"Okay, I was cast in the Wizard of Oz, and this sure as hell doesn't look like Oz, or Kansas, so where am I, and why am I wearing _this_??" Dorothy asked, Draco was about to give her a sarcastic answer, but instead a loud voice screamed

"Silence, puny character! You are in Hogwarts, in a BETTER story now! Mwhahahaha!" the voice screamed.

"A-are y-you-you the wicked w-witch?" Dorothy asked meekly.

"Hey! Who are you calling wicked? And another thing THIS IS ACTING! Ron is mine bitch!" Hermione suddenly screamed, suddenly Hermione and Ginny were piled on top of Dorothy beating the hell out of her, Ginny was choking Dorothy with her hands and Hermione was screaming at her to take it back, while Harry and Ron were trying to peel them off, Draco was thinking it was all rather funny to see the diminutive girls try to beat up the tall brunette named Dorothy, and all the teachers were trying to scream commands at them to stop, unsurprisingly Hermione did, and without Hermione on her Dorothy managed to beat Ginny off of her, and stand up.

"What did I do?" Dorothy asked, looking rather surprised that she had said it, "All I want is to love Ron and Draco at the same time, I know you two love him, but it is no reason to fight!" now Dorothy was saying the words as if she were delivering a woman's rights speech. Ginny looked sick.

Finally the writer appeared again "Woopee! My writer's block is gone, do you like it so far?" they were all tempted to say no but strange magnetic forces pulled their heads to nods and they all said "YES BUFFY!" in a rather marine/zombie fashion, and Buffy (as they had figured her name to be) laughed evilly one last time before the real torture began …

A/N How do ya like so far … glad so many people enjoy the twisted inner workings of my sublimely evil mind, next time look for Mary Sue in the chapter!


	3. Where Art Thou Mary-Sue?

3-Where Art Thou Mary-Sue

**3-Where Art Thou Mary-Sue?**

Draco was now wishing he hadn't accepted this fanfic, because Buffy was now doubling over in horribly insane laughter. 

"Okay, hmm, now I want to introduce Mary-Sue!" Buffy told them, snapping her fingers. A girl who DEFINITELY fit the name walked in, she had a plastic/veela kind of look to her and she was tilting her head strangely and began mechanically towards them and instantly fell in love with Harry. It was enough to make Draco hurl. Apparently everyone else agreed. Ginny looked ready to pounce.

Suddenly (well not so suddenly, they all anticipated it) they appeared in the dining hall of Hogwarts and seven heavy scripts fell from the claws of a bunch of (pink and fluffy of course, by Buffy's preference) owls.

Draco read through and just about started to cry with the laughter. "Oh jeez this is too good! Potter you here is your revenge for that thing on the train!" Draco laughed. Harry, hurriedly picked up the script.

_"HP on ground, MS in balcony, dressed like Shakespeare days_

_MS: Harry oh Harry, where art thou?_

_HP: Down here fair maden, oh how I love thee (climbs balcony)_

_MS: (sighs) but I am in slytherin and you are in gryfindor … we cannot be together._

_HP: Only our love shall matter!"_

__"What the … I am NOT wearing tights if that's what shes getting at …" but at that moment the lights blackened and Mary-Sue and Harry were in the potions described in the script.

Just as it happened before, words started to randomly pop from their throats … and yes Harry was indeed wearing tights and a big hat with a feather.

"Oh my love, come with me!" Harry yelled flatly.

Mary Sue seemed to be putting a lot more enthusiasm into it, she jumped off the balcony into the arms of Harry, Harry fell hard on his butt and dropped Mary Sue. Meanwhile in the other dimension Draco and the others were insane with laughter.

Harry got up and began saying more lines. He could have puked.

"CUT, CUT, CUT!!!!" Buffy screamed from an unseen intercom. "This isn't right! I need more time," and with a flash they were both returned to Buffy's mind, where the rest of them stood either laughing (Draco was rolling on the floor, laughing so hard that tears welled up in his eyes) or about to (Dorothy was sniggering into her hands.)

Once Draco was done, he got up and faced Harry "Nice tights, Potter!" he sniggered.

Harry blushed hard. "At least I didn't sing a love ballad Malfoy!" he yelled. Buffy appeared.

"So … nice job, Cutler, Potter. Well I should like to have some more time to write a better story, Chao," she said then in a flash she was gone.

Something more terrible than Harry in tights or Draco/Ginny was soon to come, and it wouldn't be pretty.

A/N Mwhahahahahaha! You like? Review!_ _


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